Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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