I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
