Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
