so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
