so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
