she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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