Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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