Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
