Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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