Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
