I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
