these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
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I think a kid would responsible me up
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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