I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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