Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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