Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
