And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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