dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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