yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You were trust falling into bushes
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
