in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
