she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
