That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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