your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
