im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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