i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
