so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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