How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
