I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
