Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
