she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
