I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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