5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
