made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
