My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
