Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
