I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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