I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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