so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
