My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
