The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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