Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
