I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
