Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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