i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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