she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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