Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
