i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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