she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
