Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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