My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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