By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
