We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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