I showed him my bush... on skype.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
