Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
