pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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