He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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