grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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