Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
