No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
