It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
