She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You are the jesus of drinking
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
