glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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