running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
